More to melbourne than meets the eye!

As you may have guessed, or read, Ive been in Melbourne for a little while!

And as you may have guessed, or read, Ive been slogging away working the bars at a winter festival which has traveled from Sydney to Melbourne, via bondi.

Ive been lucky, i must admit, in getting this work, and it been fun, if a little stressful and annoying, but i'm sure that is what ' real life' work is! However all of that of the negatives are forgotten when i think of the number of strange people i have met along the way, and the number of great people i have met along the way.. both being as amazing as each other. From street entertainers taking cover in our bars durign storms, to drunken people reliving them selves in their seats(nice!), they have been an odd few months since i arrived in Sydney.. and i don't think i would have it any other way!

One thing i do have to say is that people are idiots, stupid and moronic... some may say these are the same words, and i agree, i used them just for adding to the intensity of my announcement!

From people complaining that it was raining and that the ice was wet on an outdoor skate rink, to people asking what beer you have, when there is as stack of bottles and two taps in front of them... they decide to look up behind you at the ceiling like that is where the drinks are displayed!!!..... McDonald's effect is taking over of looking up at wats on offer!

And as some of you who know me can imagine the more moronic customers realized they have picked with he wrong guy... A scenario for you to imagine... A sign was put up advertising that we had hot alcoholic drinks for sale, mulled wine and hot toddy's... It was placed in front of the been taps but with the taps very visible and that we were a normal bar serving normal drinks. . The amount of people i got coming up saying, " ah... hot alcoholic drinks ... what are they?" i would say mulled wine, as it says on the sign... they would say, 'what else do you have?' i would reply with the statement of. ...' well its a bar.. all the normal things you find in a bar, as you can see..., we have beer, wine spirits... what would you like'? And then the amount of people that said...' all hot, hot beer? hot spirits?? It was amazing. Its like these people had never left their own kitchen. i would reply with a certain disbelief... 'what??' And they would say, 'well it says hot alcoholic drinks, are all your drinks hot?'

Ive never felt like curling up in a ball and hoping that all human life nolonger reproduces, or at least the people that visited our festival refrain from such activities!

I think Ive just done another blog which moans, and im sorry, but despite this moan Melbourne is great, Ive spent the days drinking coffee in the coolest coffee shops, exploring the coolest bars, and meeting great people, and i still have a day left which i plan to use to see the coast and to see yet more coffee shops!

Its odd traveling on your own again after so long with 2 mates always there, but when i get back to Sydney i have a feelign all will change again!! watch this space!

JONNY XX

Big Update

Hi everyone,

Upon reading my last blog, I decided it was rubbish, deleted it and am going to write you a new one.

Over the past two months while we've been in Sydney we have been experiencing Aussie life in all kinds of ways. From drifting on the ferry across the harbour to the city, to the busy city bars, surfing from Bondi to Manly and even on to Palm beach (setting for Home & Away - we're never too far from the celebs) and just popping into Mosman for a coffee. Its been a cultural experience very different from those of previous countries - aided by the fact we have spent more that three nights in the place before moving town.

For the last two weeks we've has some Pommy guests Dan and Lathy who flew all the way here just to see our little faces. So we've been living the tourist life's again - been to see the Sydney Swans play Aussie (no)Rules Football, the zoo, the blue mountains, opera house, botanical gardens, more Bondi, more Manly and more bars! Its been flat out.

The guys have headed back home now, Jon's in Melbourne, Jim has landed a job just outside Sydney and I have news of my own. I'm off to take on my own adventure. On monday I head off to Cairns to go get some sunshine, some work, some diving and hopefully not see a single spider. Yeah right. No we haven't all fallen out and want to kill each other, we still live in harmony. But its time for me to do a new thing, I can't stay in one place too long - not these days anyway. So my blogs shall come forth from Cairns, while Jon blogs from Melbourne for the next week and then both he and James from Sydney.

So that should just about bring you up to date. I shall be taking photo's on my own from now on and will try to get some up as soon as possible. Now I have to go out and buy some sun tan lotion and a baseball bat for fending off spiders.

Speak to you from Cairns,

Steve x x

The picture you have all been waiting for!

I have been inundated since people heard about this ( steve's mum) and since i confirmed the rumours in the last post yesterday (poppy). Here it is.

This is exactly what i wore, a 100% true represenation except i looked less like a hobbit as i had shoes on. And i actually only wore it for the first few days, as i looked just as much of a prat as this picture... And riley wasn't with me.

Enjoy, and laugh very load if you want. You wont be the first person to have done so.

jonny x

'Where are we now?!' I really am unsure!

'Ja ja, this is true ja' I have spent some of the past ten days dressed as a german.

But not in the way which got price harry in trouble all those years ago, not the most famous son of Germany but the second most famous, the laderhosen clad people who drink far too much ale and eat way too much deep fried snchitzel and crumbed mushrooms, that even Dr Atkins would disagree with! These are the people that are the stereotype of germany, much like the garlic and baguette man of france, or the man with corn in his mouth ( devon/cornwall i think) or the ...ah forget about it. I dont care, and im sure you dont care how many stereotypical dress types there are.

Its not the start to Sydney i was expecting, lets put it that way.

Sydney is currently in the grip of the coldest spell ever, or for 15 years or something, England is in the middle of a heat wave. Its all a bit backwards. And why not top it off with dressing like a german and working in a little bit of bavaria in the middle of sydney for 10 days @ the Sydney winter festival . We travelled all this way to go to a colder place, have our second winter in one year, and then i end up spending 12 hours a day listening to rita and bjorn ( or whatever their names) playing the organ and accordion, singing the bavarian national anthem 100 times a day. I don't think ive listened to the English one that many times. Its the most expensive and long winded trip to Germany i think i will ever do. But i think the best!

I have had the best commute to work i think i will ever have. Getting the ferry from mosman to circular key in sydney is an amazing ride. In the daytime the water is deep blue, and crystal clear and is topped off with the Sydney harbour bridge and world famous opera house rising out of the water as you sail out of the bay and across the water into the CBD ( Central business district) Its incredible. And just as good at night, even if you are shattered, been one your feet for 12 hours and told by middle class woman with far too much makeup on (but not enough to cover up the botched botox or hung over eyes) that they cant believe you dont have marsh mallows for their precious little jimmy's hot chocolate and wondering ' how many people does it take to make hot chocolate'. But that is all forgotten on your way home, on a deserted ferry, with just the the view of the lit up sydney skyline stuck in your mind.It is one of the greatest in the world. Ill get a picture some day, and you can see it for your self. Or just come out here and see what i mean.

I'm amazed i have managed to write this as i don't think my brain is functioning correctly today. Im shattered from the lat ten days. My body clock is all wrong, my eyes keep closing, my feet hurt and the guys are playing rock band on the Ninteno Wii,. Or tryignt o anyway! But one day of discomfort is nothing. Sydney has been most welcoming and Im glad to be here. My job is great, the people ( apart form the moaning woman, and anyone from germany- sorry just give me a few days to get over it) are great. Its an amazing place, and i hope the next few months will be just as good.

One final thought. Ausies don't understand bars. They queue in a line, like they are waiting for a bus. Its most strange to see it, and when a pom ( english gentleman) just walks up ( as they understand how bars work) and get served straight away, it makes me proud, despite our world cup performance, to be English! But ill put up with being and english man in sydney for a bit longer tho please!

Gut Nacht.

jonny xx

Snap Back to Reality

Well, here we are. The Real World. Life. Adult life.

We've had a lot of fun over the last 5 months and we all decided its about time we got down to some hard graft. Or, more to the point, we've run out of money and we have no choice. In my early efforts of employment I amused myself by attempting to secure a job advertised in the Sydney Morning Herald as: Waiter/Waitress needed. Lingerie cafe. I can only say I was greeted with indefensible sexism from the lady on the other end who, despite my protests, insisted I would not look good in lingerie. How could she tell?!

That is one thing I have noticed in Aus. Political correctness doesn't matter. No one cares. It's brilliant. The other day we watched as an afternoon soccer programme made very strong implictions that the Germany coach was a raving homosexual. Just today we sat around laughing at an advertisement where the punchline is a child being denied its favourite snack food to comedy effect. I cant do it justice. It's hilarious. I'm going to try and find the link...

We are currently watching the junk that is "20 to 1" a clip show archiving "great" TV moments. Either not much was going on before the world cup here, or this show has a very limiting budget. We did, however, just watch a man jump off a bungee only to continue straight into the water and not come back. I feel a little shaky.

On that note, I'm going to have to go and calm myself before bed. I hate real world bed times.

Steve x x